The Horrible Law Firm CIO

23
Apr
2013

Jeffrey Brandt

The Horrible Law Firm CIO doesn't listen to their staff when they present concerns.  He does listen for ideas and suggestion that he can then claim as his own when he talks to his boss.

The Horrible Law Firm CIO is always right.  She deflects failure and problems to her staff and soaks up all the glory and praise.  After all it's the head of the department that should get all the glory for the works of the team.  And if something goes wrong - well someone on the team messed up.

The personnel churn in the department is not the fault of the Horrible Law Firm CIO.  It's the directors who work for him, the hiring process or sunspots - but certainly not the fault of the Horrible Law Firm CIO.

The Horrible Law Firm CIO is an expert in all areas of information technology.  In meetings she interrupts others and is always offering advice.  She certainly knows more than the SQL specialist, more than the MS Exchange Technician and certainly more than the SAN Engineer. 

The Horrible Law Firm CIO is also an expert in other areas such as finance, marketing and human resources.  As such he feels perfectly justified in telling the heads of those departments how the technology will be set up and used.

The Horrible Law Firm CIO doesn't seek input from their talented IT staff.  In fact the Horrible Law Firm CIO seeks to surround herself with yes-men and yes-women.  The Horrible Law Firm CIO's ideas are far better than anything anyone else could think of.

And why would the Horrible Law Firm CIO ever seek input from mere users?  They should be thanking him for the amazing tools and services they provide.  The exceptions to this rule are the firm's  partners.  The Horrible Law Firm CIO will listen closely to a single partner and then implement systemwide changes based on that one comment.

The Horrible Law Firm CIO doesn't see it was worth her time to mentor her staff.  People are fungible commodities to the Horrible Law Firm CIO.  They should be paying her to bask in the mere presence of such IT greatness.

The Horrible Law Firm CIO gives unclear direction or no direction at all.  This is optimum for him as it provides the greatest flexibility in whom to blame.

The Horrible Law Firm CIO doesn't want her staff networking too much.  If they find out how other departments and firms operate, they may get the idea to leave.

The Horrible Law Firm CIO has great communications expectations of his staff.  Emails that he sends out must be answered in minutes.  The reverse is not true and it's perfectly satisfactory for him to answer your email in a few days.

The Horrible Law Firm CIO is in charge of everything and must be consulted on any decision she feels is important - except when she don't wish to be consulted.  The Horrible Law Firm CIO feels you should be able to work this out on your own.

The Horrible Law Firm CIO plays favorites.  If you haven't complemented him on his latest brilliant move, helped cover for his mistakes, or done all you can to please him, then you deserve not to have any choice assignments and must be content to accept the living heck your job has become.

The Horrible Law Firm CIO doesn't actually do much.  She dumps her work onto her subordinates and then sit in her office thinking of new ways to micro manage everyone and of new reasons to hold meetings (so it looks like she does something).

The Horrible Law Firm CIO wants to do everything inside their department.  The larger the department, the better he feels.

The Horrible Law Firm CIO is in charge of the firm's systems and technology.  What does she need to know about the business of law or the strategies the firm is using in other areas of operation?

And lastly the Horrible Law Firm CIO is so disconnected from the department that he doesn't see how demotivated his staff has become.  The employees don't bother putting their best foot forward anymore because they know it won't influence the outcome. 

I have worked in the legal space since 1985 (That's 28 years for those of you who might be slightly math challenged).  Through my early consulting days, my speaking, through the International Legal Technology Association, and through some experiments in social media, I have literally met hundreds of CIOs.  I had thought I had seen it all - met every kind of IT person possible.  I was wrong.  Sadly the Horrible Law Firm CIO is not a myth, he/she do not come from a child's book of fiction.  I have met the Horrible Law Firm CIO.  He/she does exist.  Next up - What can you do about the Horrible Law Firm CIO?